Saturday, March 27, 2021

Hating March Madness! Why College Basketball is Boring!

CHARACTER ONE
There's a lot to hate about March Madness and college basketball this year, like the low scoring games, and the slow-poke games. Mathematics and analytics have nothing good to say about college basketball!

CHARACTER TWO
What are you talking about?

CHARACTER ONE
Today's basketball players basically start playing from birth. They can all handle the ball! Even the tall, giant, basketball players can handle the ball like point guards. It's not like the old days where the tall players were told to stand there and catch and shoot. Now all the players have handles like Allen Iverson. Today's basketball players are all doing ball handling drills from the very beginning of their playing days. All the players today can dribble full court, full speed, and full blast.

CHARACTER TWO
So what's the problem? Why are you hating on my favorite sport, basketball?

CHARACTER ONE
Well I'm watching all these NCAA tournament games. I'm watching both the women's games and the men's games during March Madness, and you know what I'm not seeing?

CHARACTER TWO
What's missing? Why do the games suck so bad? And I feel you. There is something wrong. I haven't been thrilled except during like the last 2 minutes of every game.

CHARACTER ONE
Despite having the world's greatest athletes playing basketball today, they are playing the slowest game possible. They are standing around outside and they are playing zone defense all the time. None of this should be happening with today's tallest, greatest, ball handlers ever!

CHARACTER TWO
What should be happening?

CHARACTER ONE
What should be happening is ridiculously obvious if you understand mathematics and analytics. Basketball should be full court running and gunning all the time! It should be Houston's Phi Slama Jama (R) and Showtime all the time! Basketball should be fast breaking, beautiful passes, and dunking all the time. Think outside the box! There should be fast breaks every minute and alley oops every other minute.

CHARACTER TWO
What I see is a lot of walking from three point line to three point line. Then, I see a lot of standing around the three-point line. Then, I see a lot of passing around the three-point line.

CHARACTER ONE
Yeah, and it's boring! What you see is a lot of playing backwards. Instead of players fast breaking towards the basket all the time, there's a lot of stepping backwards to get behind the three-point line and a lot of passing backwards to get behind the three-point line. You can even watch a fast break that's four on one and the players will pull up and shoot the three instead of driving to the basket. The fast break has been replaced by the slow grinding of the three-point shot.

CHARACTER TWO
So how do we fix it? How do we get back to fast break basketball? How do we get back to run and gun basketball? How do we get back to the days of the ABA and Dr Julius Irving? How do we get back to freewheeling, fast break, basketball, which was the most exciting style of basketball ever, because play after play, it was running full court all the time?

CHARACTER ONE
Fixing basketball is so simple it's ridiculous. It's amazing entrepreneurs haven't even thought of it yet. There is a billion dollar basketball industry totally ripe for disruption. And it's all simple mathematics.

CHARACTER TWO
Come on man what is it?

CHARACTER ONE
It's simple. Start by playing 4-on-4 full court. Just imagine if Michael Jordan, LeBron James, the late great Kobe Bryant, and The Greek Freak had more room on the court to run and gun. Most NBA players are 6 ft 6 in or taller. Removing one of them is like creating 33 square ft of empty space. Removing two of them, one player from each team, is like creating 66 square feet of more empty space to play in. Just going from playing five-on-five to playing four-on-four means the offensive players wouldn't be able to be stopped by a wall of five players anymore. With only four players on each team the court would be much more wide open. Mathematically, it would pay to run and gun all the time. The same for three-on-three full court, two-on-two full court, and one-on-one full court.

CHARACTER TWO
I'm with you. I'm tired of these low scoring games, but I'm a businessman, how do you make money?

CHARACTER ONE
That's the best part! The billion dollar NBA Monopoly and the millions of dollars NCAA monopoly could both be broken overnight! All you need to do is some reality TV shows, start playing some games, and start forming some leagues. Everything is in place; it's just time for some entrepreneurs to step forward and some players to step forward and take over basketball again, and taking advantage of the opportunities and the social media and the fans who want to see fast break basketball with dunks, and alley oops, and spectacular passes. Set the players free!

CHARACTER TWO
I think I can see it; I can start thinking outside of the box! I can imagine how it could all happen. You create a faster game, a more thrilling game, a more fun game, and a much more watchable game. 

CHARACTER ONE
Yes absolutely! And it's all driven by today's better basketball players, today's bigger basketball players, and today's better technology with the Internet, smart phones, streaming, and social media. It would be a sea change in sports. It would disrupt sports worldwide, and it could be done practically overnight using software, technology, and mathematics. And it could be driven by the players and the fans. 

CHARACTER TWO
I can't wait! I can't wait to see run and gun basketball again. I can't wait to see fast break basketball again. I can't wait for basketball to always be moving forward again instead of backwards. 

CHARACTER ONE
Yes, let's end the dark ages of basketball and start running and gunning again.

Copyright (c) 2021 BradMD (Brad Hennenfent, M.D.) This is an ongoing treatment and script for four-on-four full-court basketball, three-on-three full-court basketball two-on-two full-court basketball, and one-on-one full-court basketball, for TV, reality TV, streaming, digital entertainment, games, tournaments, leagues, and every other mode or medium of entertainment and sports.